Saturday, March 19, 2016

A-Z OF LIFE SERIES #4: DARING

Remember when you were a child, and you and your friends played 'truth of dare', knowing full well that NO-ONE was going to be spilling any secrets, and that everyone just wanted an excuse to be a bit cheeky, or try out something new for the first time - without being judged? (Well depending on who you were made to snog in a cupboard, you may have been a little bit.) There is something about going out of your comfort zone, with permission to be a bit different than you are expected to be, that is thrilling and can make your pulse beat a bit faster while giving a wonderful sense of freedom.


Now, I am not advocating that we all go around daring each other to smooch on people, or knock on someone's door and run away. Nor am I suggesting we all need to book a bungee jump to overcome our fear of heights (shudders), but somewhere along the way into adulthood, adulting turns our focus from thrill-seeking, to thinking about our security, safety and comfort. When I bought my first flat, every pound coin of what I was earning, seemed to translate into a new household item. When I saw cute pairs of shoes, I would stop myself buying them because 'that is basically the price of a new toaster', or 'a week's worth of food'. Instead I needed to set up saving plans to make sure that I had enough to cover my car insurance and repairs; there was budgeting, meal-planning, the whole grown-up way of approaching life was suddenly quite real.

I think with the change of focus onto responsibility, we lose a little bit of that excitement that comes from just taking a chance on life. That doesn't mean that there aren't areas where we need to be a bit more daring. Like I said in my post on confidence, we need to believe in ourselves a bit more, in order to value ourselves - and particuarly as it is so easy to set aside our ambitions as a result of under-confidence. However, without that little bit of daring to go out and DO the slightly scary new thing, we can have all the confidence in the world and not get anywhere.

Another (very funny and popular) blogger Vix Meldrew* made me think about how much daring it takes in this world to get what you want, and retain a sense of humour when it all goes a bit wrong. A while ago she live tweeted how she passed a note to a hot guy on a train, letting him know she was interested. Twitter exploded with women who applauded her bravery and I don't think there was one member of  #Thegirlgang who weren't avidly crossing their fingers that they would date, fall deeply in love, eventually get married and have a bunch of sassy, hot kids. (What has Disney done to us all?). Needless to say, he had a girlfriend, and she didn't get the date she wanted, but if she hadn't had asked, she would never have known. If she hadn't been daring, there was 0% chance of a date. (If you haven't checked out Vix's live #Vixswipes tinder tweeting sessions, then just go and do that straight after finishing this post...)

So, the next time you find yourself erring on the side of caution (and by that I am not telling you to buy the shoes instead of the toaster), take a deep breath and dare yourself to do it. Be it asking for a promotion, changing career, telling that person that you like them, or going on that dream holiday - just do it - I double dare you!

No returns - obviously...

*you can find Vix's blog here

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