Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wednesday Rant: Christmas Catastrophes (O.K I'm possibly exaggerating a little)

The weight of my workload has been lifted from my shoulders since the craft fair finished and my colleagues were kind enough to buy some of my goods from the staff room. I am nowhere near as stressed out as last week because I have all the time in the world to finish my marking. It is looking more and more likely by the day that if I stick to my schedule, I'll have a very small amount to mark over the Christmas holidays. The sense of achievement is immense. Not sounding very rant like? Well it's coming, I promise!
Last week you had tales of the washing machine and the incompetent warranty (it was more riveting than I just made it sound...well hopefully). Anyhoo, this week I'm ranting about the top five things you do NOT want to happen before Christmas, but for some unknown reason always do. Can you guess which of these happened to me this week?
1.   Just at the moment when you are carrying the most food/drink/heavy presents, your bag handle snaps and you end up scattering goods (usually inconvenient rolling items like potatoes) all over the floor. 
2. Your car breaks. It's a major repair. It's also obviously the time of year when you tax your there's the December going out and festive shoe budget out of the window. You also have not been food shopping, so you enjoy your dinner of cold sausages and cereal while watching cookery shows, like a puppy scratching at a window.
3. You wear fabric shoes, inspired by the sunny, yet crisp weather, only to find that when you get to your destination, the car park is flooded, the heavens have opened and you look like an unprepared tool. ( this isn't universal...)
4. You invite people to stay over Christmas time. In your excitement you realise that every cupboard you open is full to the bursting and that you might actually die of embarrassment at the state of them, or worse accidentally kill your guests with an avalanche of books. The only resolution involves HOURs of cleaning. Jingle Balls!
5. You desperately try and find out who is going to the Christmas parties you are invited to, but there is no subtle way of asking without making it exceedingly obvious that you are basing your decision to go on their actual response. So you end up at all of them, in order that no offence can be taken by any of them. All of the while, you are considering how you will find the time to clean out those blasted cupboards.
I love Christmas. This week though, it's enough to make me say 'Bah Humbug' - which is fortuitous as I am in the staff panto this year...and it's 'A Christmas Carol'. Loving my part, but it's top secret. I've I told you, Santa would have to put you on the naughty list. Obviously.
Want to air the cobwebs of your discontent? (That's rant basically) then come and join me over at Cocalores where we are really starting to love a little moan!
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PJ @ Planned in Pencil said...

"Jingle Balls".... well that just made me laugh out loud.

Cocalores said...

Your rant sounds just like my week! ;-)
It has been raining only once since last week (and that has lasted from last Wednesday to this Wednesday), so my feet and my socks are usually damp or plain wet (no, I won't wear wellies!), my hair is frizzy, and every kind of outing, be it to the supermarket or to Christmas parties, feels like a chore.

Baaah! (But your posts usually brighten my day ;-)

Natasha V said...

"You wear fabric shoes" I continuously make that mistake. If it's not wet it's filled with salt.

ifs ands Butts said...

Gah #3 happens to me all the time, it's like I'm in denial

Laura Ryder said...

OM Gosh...I know I am just waiting for something big and expensive to happen. I pray it's not the car!! :)

Love the rant!!


A Proverbs 31 Wife said...

The Car! Try both of them :( It's just maintenance stuff, but still,I cannot believe how much we spent on the vehicles this month :(

For what ever reason, I love reading your rants, usually people complaining annoy me.... haha! maybe it's because I relate so well with your rants ;)
haha! have a great day!

Alyx said...

I swear the saying is true - when it rains, it pours. And, if I might add - it's always at the most inconvenient times.

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